


Teacher's Pet

by shaggydogstail



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, MWPP, Mirror of Erised
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 12:32:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8162194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaggydogstail/pseuds/shaggydogstail
Summary: Sirius has a deep and embarrassing wish about his Head of House, and James is a terrible best friend.





	

_A deserted corridor at the back of the Transfiguration department._

_Tuesday 24th November, 1972_

_Shortly after tea-time_

'This is the one,' said James as he grabbed the handle of the door in front of him and, after a brief tussle, twisted it open. 'Now let's get in quick, before Filch comes along and has us all cleaning toilets with our toothbrushes for a week.'

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter hurried into the room with all due haste--or rather, shuffled in awkwardly as quickly as four thirteen-year-old boys under one seriously overstretched invisibility cloak can. Once inside, James pulled the cloak aside, and gestured to something in the middle of the room with great aplomb. 'Ta-da!' he announced brightly.

His friends were distinctly unimpressed.

'James, it's just an old mirror,' said Sirius, rolling his eyes. 'You made us miss pudding for this?'

'On jam roly-poly day,' said Peter.

'Barely a week after our last marathon detention?' added Remus.

'Well _obviously_ it's not a normal mirror,' said James with exaggerated patience. 'It's a magic mirror.'

'Keep talking, James,' said Sirius. He was feeling quite aggrieved about the jam roly-poly.

'It's called the Mirror of Erised,' explained James. 'It shows you your heart's desire.'

'You need a mirror to tell you that?' asked Remus.

Sirius nodded in agreement. 'He's always managed quite well with _Quidditch Monthly_ 's photoshoots of the Holyhead Harpies up until now.'

'Not those sort of desires, you wanker,' said James. 'I mean what you _really_ want, your deepest desires and ambitions. My uncle found it when he was at school, you know, and it shows you...well, sometimes it shows you things you didn't even realise you wanted.'

'So it's only useful if you don't actually know what you want?' said Sirius. 'Sounds a bit stupid to me.'

'I think it's creepy,' said Remus, backing away slightly.

'You two are hopeless,' said James. 'Peter, you're up for it, aren't you?'

'Yeah, why not?' Peter nodded amiably.

'Right, well, I found it, so I'll go first,' said James, striding up to the mirror.

'What can you see?' asked Peter eagerly.

James didn't answer: he was too busy beaming at his reflection and...well, he did seem to be preening, rather.

'Oh, come _on_ ,' said Sirius with a huff of exasperation. He dragged Remus and Peter behind James, slightly to one side, so they could see his reflection without affecting it themselves.

The picture before them was unsurprising, to say the least. A slightly taller, broader version of James smiled back from the mirror, holding the Quidditch Cup aloft. There was a Head Boy badge glinting on his robes, and a sea of admirers cheering him on.

'Well, there's a surprise,' said Sirius. 'C'mon, James, stop showing off. Peter's dying to have a go.'

James reluctantly stepped aside, and Peter eagerly took his place in front of the mirror. The other three peered around and saw a rather svelte Peter receiving some sort of a trophy. It was undeniably similar to James' picture, though it appeared that Peter was rather less specific in his ambitions, as none of them could work out precisely what the trophy was for.

'So essentially you two both want to spend the rest of your lives polishing trophies?' asked Remus with a smile. 'I would have thought you'd got enough of that in detention.'

'And just for that, you can go next,' said James, shoving Remus in front of the mirror.

Remus ducked his head down, seemingly unwilling to look at his own reflection. It showed Remus exactly as he was, standing under a full moon. James at least had the decency to look a little sheepish as Remus raised his eyes and gave a small, defeated sigh at his own reflection. Sirius jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow.

'Well,' said Sirius, looking pointedly at James and then at Peter. 'Makes you two look a bit shallow, doesn't it?'

'Oh, give over,' said James, not quite able to hide his discomfort. 'I notice _you_ haven't tried it yet.'

'Don't want to,' said Sirius. 'It's stupid, anyway.'

'You're not _scared_ are you?'

'Of a mirror?' said Sirius. 'Piss off.'

'Go on then,' said James. 'Prove it.'

Sirius made a great show of huffing and rolling his eyes, but it was obvious that he'd have to do it now: there's no greater means of manipulation on Earth than calling a teenage boy _chicken_.

Remus stepped hastily aside as Sirius strode over to the mirror and looked into it defiantly.

Unlike James and Peter, whose reflections had shown them nearly grown, or even Remus who appeared the same age, the mirror-version of Sirius looked rather younger than his thirteen-year-old self. He was sitting on a sofa, next to Professor McGonagall, who had a book open on her lap. Mirror-Sirius appeared to be reading aloud from the book, and McGonagall was smiling and nodding appreciatively. Presently she leant over towards Sirius, perhaps to whisper something to him, but Sirius-who-was-really-there chose that moment to move away from the mirror suddenly, causing his reflective counterpart to fade into nothingness.

'Your deepest desire is Professor McGonagall?' James looked horrified.

'It's clearly symbolic,' announced Sirius haughtily. Sirius had grown fond of symbolism that term: it allowed him to spout the most tremendous bullshit in Divination. 'The book represents learning and intellectual accomplishment, whilst McGonagall, as Head of House represents authority and Gryffindor derring-do.'

'I _really_ don't like where this is going,' muttered Remus.

Sirius ignored him completely and ploughed on. 'Clearly this shows my deepest desire is to have my own innate genius recognised by the great and the good.'

'Either that or your desire to learn to read,' offered James.

Sirius cast his best friend a scornful look. 'We can't all be as vapid and obvious as you,' he sniffed, before turning on his heel and stalking out of the room.

James watched him go, with a very curious expression on his face. 'Hm.'

Remus and Peter both feared the worst.

~*~

_Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,_

_Third year Gryffindor boys' dormitory._

_Wednesday 1st December, 1972_

_Well past bedtime_

James Potter was nothing if not persistant. There was very definitely Something Up With Sirius, and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. In addition to being persistant, James was also resourceful, light-fingered, and a conniving little bastard. So it came to pass that the very first day Sirius was out of detention (storming off like that without the cloak had _not_ been a good idea--he'd barely gone 10 yards before Filch had caught him) that James announced they were all going to play a game.

'I have here a small bottle of truth potion,' James announced to the room at large.

'Veritaserum?' Sirius was impressed. 'How'd you get that?'

Peter twitched slightly. Remus slunk down behind his Charms homework.

'Swiped it from Slughorn's personal stash,' said James brightly. 'Although it's not actually Veritaserum: this stuff's not half so strong. One swig will make you answer one question completely honestly--it wears off in less than a minute.'

'It's still illegal, right?' Remus muttered darkly.

James shrugged. 'Ish.'

'Cool.' Sirius smiled.

James grinned evilly. 'So, who's up for a particularly honest game of truth or dare. Or, to be more precise, truth and more truth?'

No-one was really, but it didn't take a huge effort for James to bully, cajole or manipulate them all into playing. It wasn't too bad at first. James was forced to admit to his phobia of flobberworms, Remus confessed that, yes, his mother really had sewn his name into _all_ of his clothes, underpants included, and Peter revealed that he had harboured a secret crush on Bellatrix Lestrange ever since he saw her wedding photographs in _The Prophet._

'But she's _evil_!' exclaimed Sirius, horrified.

'Well, it's mostly a physical thing,' said Peter, flushing scarlet.

'That really doesn't make it any better,' said James. 'Considering she's basically Sirius with tits.'

'With tits and _no morals_ ,' said Sirius.

'Like I said, she's basically Sirius with tits,' repeated James smoothly. Sirius crossed his arms, looking furious, but he didn't argue. 'Anyway, your turn,' James continued.

Sirius eyed the bottle of truth serum suspiciously, but there was no way he was going to back down. The moment the potion crossed his lips, he noticed the diabolically self-satisfied expression on James' face, and instantly regretted agreeing to the game at all.

'So,' said James, 'what's the deal with you and McGonagall?'

The potion was maybe a little stronger than James had implied.

'Sometimes I wish she was my mum,' Sirius answered automatically, before clapping his hand to his mouth. He glanced around at his friends bemused expressions, then stood up quickly, seething with anger. 'I'm going to fucking _kill_ you for this, Potter!' he roared, before storming off (fortunately only into the bathroom this time), slamming the door behind him.

James, Remus and Peter sat in stunned silence for a moment.

'Sirius' family aren't very nice, are they?' asked Remus eventually.

'No,' said James. 'They're bloody awful, actually.'

'So it, um, wouldn't be very nice to tease him about this, would it?'

'What do you take me for?' asked James indignantly. 'Of course I'm not going to tease Sirius about wishing McGonagall was his mum.'

Remus looked sceptical.

'Well, not very often, anyway.'


End file.
